I have moved! 
www.n-khairunnisa.blogspot.com
Suddenly, attending it and being involved in it became a chore instead.
ANCOC it is.
Don’t know why.
I don’t even feel like opening any emails regarding them.
Hmmm…
Maybe I’m not cut out for this.
However, lets just go through this.
No matter how much I don’t feel like to,
I have to.
With my 100%.
17 July hurry come and go.
Will be super late if my dad didn’t sacrifice his sleeping time to get me to Henderson Secondary in 30 minutes.
Thanks dad!
I know I can be a real nuisance sometimes,
&I do really feel bad okay.
Sorry and thank you very much.
At times like this, I really wonder what would parents not do for their children uh?
So theory phase just passed like that.
It was all right.
Nothing exciting really happen just that, I think during the camp phase,
I am not going to be like that. Haha!
Don’t ask me why. But I am always like that.
Anyways, I screwed up the CO briefing.
Sorry wb!
I think I sucked at public speaking when all my 2 years in RepublicPoly was all about presenting.
Hmm… I wonder what did I actually learn in school?
Many things are running through my mind actually.
For instance, What am I still doing in St. John?
What am I going to do when it comes to the end of school?
Although FYP has passed and left with report writing and poster,
I am still thinking whether science is what I really want?
My attitude towards school has been -__- these days.
I used to love school so much, yet now school is not what I look forward to.
Seriously, I don’t even know what I look forward to now.
When my cousin asked me whether I am in any CCA in my school and I replied none,
I thinked back, my poly life was really boring.
Maybe when I come into RP, I already have in mind to just live the poly life like as it is.
As I really hate changes, I can’t really catch up with the every-semester-change-class thing, and the hurtful process would be that after the semester, the friends you made will just go away.
Well, people carry on with their lives right?
&When I come to realise that, it will be too late for me to actually open up to my current classmates.
And yes, sometimes I do feel like I am a fake.
I bet you do.
Because sometimes, I don’t have the heart to just say what I actually think about them.
There are some people in my circle of friends who I am awkward with.
There are times when in my heart, I really am tired of that person and that I really just wanna say no! and tell her/him what’s on my mind rather than just keeping it in.
I feel fake.
Yes, I am fake.
However, my fake would be like I-don’t-like-something-about-you-but-I’m-letting-it-go-because-I-don’t-wanna-ruin-this-friendship.
I wonder how life without friends are like and I wonder if it is fun?
It is because you won’t need to care whether they will leave you one day and moree..
I seriously think I wouldn’t be like this if home would be less stressing without a person with an attitude.
It sucks uh to suddenly have someone turn a cold shoulder towards you.
However, when they feel like talking to you, they will talk.
Follow their mood.
Uncaring for yours.
Shitty uh? I wonder how life would be without her around?
Or maybe how life would be for my parents and siblings without me around?
I bet they will be having an easier life uh?
Parents would not need to spend so much for a spendthrift like me.
They would not need to be patient with my temper and mood swings.
Siblings would not need to give in to my temper/ moodswings
For SJAB, I think there many many more things that I need to learn.
Yet, I am not learning anything.
I wonder, how long I will survive.
Another thing would be that I wonder why people are following the footsteps of the ones that they looked down upon.
I may be fake, however, when I really don’t like that person, I would NEVER try to be close to her/him.
I do not need to be friends with everyone. Just a small amount would do.
Even if those few aren’t willing to be friends till the end,
Guess, life still goes on uh?
Hmmm… I would really want to know what the future will be like.
I wanna live a life that I would not need to depend on anyone.
I would like to try and start now!
RANDOMMM NOTTEE:
Situation 1: I really don’t wanna be good anymore.
Situation 2: I seriously can’t understand why must you be going against your words?
Situation 3: I admit, I have really low self esteem and confidence.
Situation 4: I am really scared of ghosts. HAHA!
That made me think real hard.
Aye..
I wonder, when we are all grown up,
Will we still be blogging all our happiness, anger and disappointment out?
Will we still be facebooking?
Will we still be the same people?
Will our friends stay?
Will we earn enough to support ourselves and parents?
Will we still be best friends?
Will we get married someday?
Will we achieve our dreams and goals?
Will we be successful?
Will we at least get a degree?
Hmmm.. All these are bothering me.
Esp to the friends part.
Some are already going to vanish into thin air.
Some are still good friends.
Some just are there and sometimes you don’t even know what to talk to them.
Worrying uh?
The future is.
No matter how much you plan it or what,
You may never know what comes your way.
So much for saying bestfriends.
I’m not feeling it anymore.
I wonder..
Whether, we are still important to you or not.
Like for some,
When they meet new people,
They tend to forget the old ones.
They will somehow come back and find the old one back.
Another would be befriending someone who you can tell everything to,
However, its only you sharing.
And not them.
Not their fault, I know,
But this really makes you think whether are they really meant to be friends for a certain period of time only?
Well, I hate it when these feelings come.
It really make you doubt everyone.
Ugh!
