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However, lets just go through this.
No matter how much I don’t feel like to,
I have to.
With my 100%.

17 July hurry come and go.

So theory phase just passed like that.
It was all right.
Nothing exciting really happen just that, I think during the camp phase,
I am not going to be like that. Haha!
Don’t ask me why. But I am always like that.

Anyways, I screwed up the CO briefing.
Sorry wb!
I think I sucked at public speaking when all my 2 years in RepublicPoly was all about presenting.
Hmm… I wonder what did I actually learn in school?

Many things are running through my mind actually.
For instance, What am I still doing in St. John?
What am I going to do when it comes to the end of school?
Although FYP has passed and left with report writing and poster,
I am still thinking whether science is what I really want?
My attitude towards school has been -__- these days.
I used to love school so much, yet now school is not what I look forward to.
Seriously, I don’t even know what I look forward to now.

When my cousin asked me whether I am in any CCA in my school and I replied none,
I thinked back, my poly life was really boring.
Maybe when I come into RP, I already have in mind to just live the poly life like as it is.
As I really hate changes, I can’t really catch up with the every-semester-change-class thing, and the hurtful process would be that after the semester, the friends you made will just go away.

Well, people carry on with their lives right?
&When I come to realise that, it will be too late for me to actually open up to my current classmates.
And yes, sometimes I do feel like I am a fake.
I bet you do.

Because sometimes, I don’t have the heart to just say what I actually think about them.
There are some people in my circle of friends who I am awkward with.
There are times when in my heart, I really am tired of that person and that I really just wanna say no! and tell her/him what’s on my mind rather than just keeping it in.
I feel fake.

Yes, I am fake.
However, my fake would be like I-don’t-like-something-about-you-but-I’m-letting-it-go-because-I-don’t-wanna-ruin-this-friendship.

I wonder how life without friends are like and I wonder if it is fun?
It is because you won’t need to care whether they will leave you one day and moree..

I seriously think I wouldn’t be like this if home would be less stressing without a person with an attitude.
It sucks uh to suddenly have someone turn a cold shoulder towards you.
However, when they feel like talking to you, they will talk.
Follow their mood.
Uncaring for yours.
Shitty uh? I wonder how life would be without her around?

Or maybe how life would be for my parents and siblings without me around?
I bet they will be having an easier life uh?
Parents would not need to spend so much for a spendthrift like me.
They would not need to be patient with my temper and mood swings.
Siblings would not need to give in to my temper/ moodswings

For SJAB, I think there many many more things that I need to learn.
Yet, I am not learning anything.
I wonder, how long I will survive.
Another thing would be that I wonder why people are following the footsteps of the ones that they looked down upon.
I may be fake, however, when I really don’t like that person, I would NEVER try to be close to her/him.
I do not need to be friends with everyone. Just a small amount would do.
Even if those few aren’t willing to be friends till the end,
Guess, life still goes on uh?
Hmmm… I would really want to know what the future will be like.
I wanna live a life that I would not need to depend on anyone.
I would like to try and start now!

RANDOMMM NOTTEE:
Situation 1: I really don’t wanna be good anymore.
Situation 2: I seriously can’t understand why must you be going against your words?
Situation 3: I admit, I have really low self esteem and confidence.
Situation 4: I am really scared of ghosts. HAHA!